my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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