Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
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Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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