Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
