Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
