Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
