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LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
