This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The struggles of a small town man whore
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
