Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
