on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser