is wine microwaveable?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low