is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.