You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
