i jhust puked up my retainher.
Porn is love you can see.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She just used a chaser for red wine.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???