Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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