I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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