So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
