i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
