i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
