i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
