after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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