youre lurking in front of me
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
