I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize