sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
