I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
