It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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