why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I need water and some morals
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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