...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
