he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
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After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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