Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
