I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
