Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
