Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
