She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
