Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
