i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize