You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
