absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
