I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
