You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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