wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
