Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
