I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
