I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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