ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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