I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
