Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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