Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
