But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
