New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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