If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
