Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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