Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
