It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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