i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
