I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
