When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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