love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
