pop tarts are not kleenex
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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