ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
