there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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