U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
one might say we're banned from that church
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
