there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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