piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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