"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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