yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
honey bunches of taint.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
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