The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
